Little Doll Dishes

OK, I'll make it snappy and complete last week's story...  

Yes, I was the same Ms. Grothe whose son had bitten into a light bulb last Sunday night and had gone to the emergency room to be monitored in case he had swallowed glass.  And, yes, my husband was currently screaming from the agonizing burning sensations inside his head because he had just snorted a jalepeno seed.  But before the nurse could get a doctor's visit arranged, the jalepeno seed washed away in the streams of water that continued to pour from Randy's eyes and nostrils.  He stopped jumping and screaming and collapsed into exhaustion. 

No lasting ill effects...end of story.

So tonight my question is... 

Why do children have to grow up so fast?  Why can't we let them enjoy being children without being burdened with too much adult information?

Elena's 6th grade teacher wanted her to do a report on Auschwitz.  Auschwitz!  She was only 11 years old.  I had already proven my smother mother credentials that year by protesting the showing of  "Salaam, Bombay!".  The film featured orphaned and homeless children surviving amidst the crime, child prostitution, and violence on the streets of Bombay.  When I objected, the teacher informed me that she was just trying to prepare the students for middle school and high school, and that I needed to let Elena grow up.

This growing up madness started way too early for my liking; it began when Elena first started nursery school at the age of 2. She was immediately thrust amongst more progressive 2-year olds with more progressive parents.

When Elena was 2, I became pregnant with Jackson and I explained to her that there was a baby in my tummy.  She was perfectly delighted with this and proudly went off to nursery school to announce the blessed event to all her buddies.  Of course,  she was immediately shot down and shamed by a know-it-all 2 year old in her class. Little Daniel (whose mother was also pregnant at the time) informed Elena that the baby was not in my tummy, "Your Mommy didn't swallow it!",  he mocked. She came home and informed me that the baby was in my uterus (which she pronounced, utewus)."The baby is in your utewus, Mommy, not your tummy", almost rolling her eyes at my naivete.

Later that year, there was the night when she was bathing with her rubber ducky and sweetly asked me,  "Mommy, do I have china?"  

"No", I explained, "You have little doll dishes."

"I don't have china?", she persisted. 

I assured her that she had plenty of little doll dishes.

"Do you have china?", she asked.

I explained that I had my Grandmother's china and that someday it might be hers, but that right now she had plenty of little doll dishes all her own.

As she got out of the bath and I was wrapping her with a towel, she summed it all up for me.... "Jake says that boys have a penis and girls have china."